It has come to my attention that Fur Fright is only a few weeks away. Three weeks from now I will be boarding a train for Connecticut, passing through some of the most beautiful countryside I have ever seen to get to another state where I will buy a 5 day transpass to get to my hotels (where I will be sleeping and where the convention is) among other things. Pretty exciting actually as this will be only my second time going to Fur Fright and my first time giving a presentation by myself.

I helped give a presentation at AC but for this I will be doing something completely on my own. I am both terrified and excited at the same time. I will be going alone again this year, which is my only regret as I have no significant other in my life now.

But I will be running games and getting commissions done and writing which always makes me happy. A whole weekend with my own kind. It's going to be glorious.

Current Location: United States, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: The cacophony in my head

The one song by Mr. Mister mentions a quarrel between the present and the past...I should be so lucky. Right now I have a three way fight in my head between these three time zones over which of them gets the honor of my time and imagination. Sometimes being a writer is its own special Hell, and despite the near overwhelming temptation to make some snide remark at my own expense, it won't help matters much.

Right now the past is losing out some as I have little inspiration at present. I have this idea floating in my head that is something of an amalgamation of the other two. Superheroes are a special brand of fantasy for me as it takes place in what is assumed to be present time with much of the magic given a scientific veneer to make it respectable.


Where this idea come from, I have little idea. The group dynamic will revolve around six furs in furry version of our own time frame although half of the six are actually androids. Some of the characters have a familiar feel twisted through a furry lense.

Before I talk about the androids I need to speak on their creator and the more or less leader of the team. I am taking the Wealthy Thrillseeker archetype and twisting it a little. He's an orange tabby that is a very rich kitty but all his wealth and power in the financial and media arenas has left him bored. So to alleviate the boredom he decides to become a superhero.

Combine Richie Rich, Tony Stark and Booster Gold as an orange tabby tomcat and you have this major character. He has more money than he rightfully knows what to do with, an aptitude for dabbling in super science and is bored enough that risking his life as a glory hounding superhero sounds like a good idea.

Among his creations to assist him are three mouse girl androids. I blame Fisk for partially putting this idea in my head. Take the Power Puff Girls, make them androids like another teenage super heroine robot cartoon and make them mice. Four foot five inch mouse girls with super powers to aid their master and the mindset...well, you get the idea. Yes, I know, I'm a sick puppy.

The other two are more convoluted, where the dude is concerned and less so for the girl. Mix Damian Hellstrom, Dick Grayson, Raven, Nightcrawler, Ghost Rider and Spawn together into one being and make him a wolf. I have good feeling about this guy, monstrous even by the standards of a furry world with all the power of Hell but using his powers for the good of all and seeking redemption by rejecting the dichotomy that damns him and embracing the Wiccan faith as his guiding light.

Now for other other heroine. Combine Krystal from Star Fox with Starfire of the Teen Titans, and later the Titans and the New Titans, etc. A beautiful exile picking up the pieces of her life and starting life a new on furry Earth. And all this comes together in New Jersey of all places...

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Richard Marx

I had been waiting for a whole week for a few things to get delivered to the house. I was waiting on two OGL hardbacks on pact magic, a book of NPCs for M&M from Lulu.com and 2 things from Paizo.  I was starting to get impatient, especially with the hardbacks as this was a company I had never dealt with before. Then today, Tuesday, everything comes at once. Jiminy Christmas what a delivery. Ah well, at least now I have plenty to read.

I have been writing for many years and I still have various ideas that come from time to time. I know my own limitations and I can't draw worth a damn so I paint with words on the canvas of my reader's minds as this is my talent. One thing I strive for is to be original in my concepts and in my stories as much as possible.

A crisis of creativity is a near constant threat in my mind. I am a story teller, I've known that since the 80's and if I can't be innovative and entertaining I've lost my touch and it's time to consider whether or not I have a reason to continue on with the fandom and life in general. I know where I am drawing inspiration from with the latest creation but will I be too obvious? Will the story lines be too obvious or convoluted for anyone to really take an honest interest in?

A sentient tree has gained immortality which is probably the worst thing for humanity that could have happened. Watching the abuses humanity has blackened its heartwood to the point it thinks of humans as a parasite that needs to be clensed or at least severely curtailed.

Now in the US, where it's superhero central it is more disgusted than ever in the present day. As is usually the case with these things, there is a cult of humans surrounded this dark guru of the bitter root that does much for it in the name of protecting nature from the excesses of humanity.

This druidic supervillain can even butcher its followers in a ritualistic fashion with no fear of losing any of those fools following it. It then does something to the meat that remains and feeds it to predatory animals (who else would eat human hamburger?) transforming them into, you knew this was coming, furries/scalies to do its bidding as super powered agents.

These agents can use tools like a human, speak like a human and wear clothing like a human but retain their basic mindset even when their intellect is more or less the level of a humans. But once in a while the process makes a monster who isn't as loyal to its creator than others. The hero is one such creature.

Caught between the dictates of his creator and his own conscience this mystical archer is trying to make his way in a world that is less than willing to accept him as a valued person. Not really a hero, a villain or even an anti-hero there is much to be explored with him. Or is there?

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: 80's Music Station on ITunes

Just been doing some wondering about what exactly constitute a fursuit. On the one paw I really don't want to spend all that money on something I will wear so infrequently. And on the other paw I really like how some of them are done. Although I am also intrigued about types and designs. For instance if I pay the money for a decent werewolf costume could that be considered a fursuit?

I have been doing quite a bit of thinking and writing lately. I'm scrapping my Furgotten Realms idea for right now. But I'm developing different ideas for compiling short stories for Freakport but I'm differing on whether to make this 10 stories or 20 bundled together before trying to get this sold someplace.

The seventh story in the series will be going somewhere that hasn't been overdone before that I know about. I am drawing inspiration from Jules Verne who is one of the pre cursor of many of the modern writers of the genre of Steam Punk. Although what I plan to do with the Dark Shark is much different than what Verne had Nemo do with the Nautilus.

I'm also converting an idea I had for a comic book into short stories. But this goes hand in hand or paw in paw if you will with my tiki obsession. Stranger in a strange land indeed.

Finally I have an idea I'm not sure if I should proceed with. In terms of fantasy I have this idea of a kind of culture clash in the desert with the societies modeled after two societies that may never have actually met in the real world. What am I talking about and why might this be too controversial to write about? Well, imagine if a furry Egyptian Empire actually somehow managed to survive long enough to encounter Muslims who come into the desert to conquer the land for their own empire. Given how extreme certain strains of Islam can be I am debating on whether I should or should not proceed with this idea.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Paracast

I think I'm going mad. I know I have heard the term Furgotten Realms as an alternative Forgotten Realms setting before but I can't find it on-line. Which basically means that if I want to see it done in the present time I have to do it myself. Which is exhilarating and frightening a prospect. I know what I want to do but not sure how to go about it.

Among other ideas is that Cyric is dead and Bane killed him and that some how helped trigger this change. Worshipers of Mielikki, Sylvanus and the one bestial god I can't think of right now took this in stride. The lycanthropes found they were locked in their hybrid form so they weren't initially pleased but they got over it. So no were(insert animal name here)s, no drow, no deep gnomes, no duergar, no derro and this is more for simplification than anything else but also because I have little patience for drow drama. With the absence of these power players the mind flayers, aboleth and other monster societies expand. Other than this everything else goes on unabated. There is a collective memory of what had gone before but eventually this will fade.

I am using a lot of the ideas from Paizo's Pathfinder RPG for this although it will have my own tweaks. Everyone is limited to human life span but the stat adjustments and the height/weight charts of the various races would be used to help make furry characters but for life span, feats and skill points, everyone is considered human. Certain magic items will eventually be renamed; skills and how the different classes work will be according to Pathfinder RPG.

But with this as the base I think I am on my way. I still have a lot of work ahead of me but I have a good start at least.

Current Location: Philly
Current Music: Paracast

I'm writing about an incident that happened to me last week. I had been suffering from an abscess in the worst possible place for my gender: the scrotum. I was having the jolly good time of having this growth pinch what ever tubes connect my testicles to my penis giving me the sensation of getting kicked in the crotch about every five minutes.

Things came to a head last thursday when the pain enhanced the irritability I normally suffer in the throes of depression and lessened the controls my anger has in evolving into rage. I ended up cracking Scott's rib by throwing him into a door. That's when I went to Frankford hospital and had the pleasure of explaining the problem, my lack of medication for diabetes and other complications of the situation.

Initially I was going to be kept in said hospital and I was given an ultrasound on my scrotum to see where it was and if they could remove it without making me a eunuch. Apparently one doctor was not entirely convinced I had an abcess and needed to be convinced. Then a urologist had the bright idea to lance me and drain the pus.

So my scrotum gets "numbed" and he proceeds to rip a hole in the right side of my nut sack and squeeze out much to most of the pus. If that was numbed I can only imagine how much pain I would have been in without it. They also gave my morphine, but I got no buzz, that stuff burned my shoulder and while I did yell somewhat I managed to keep much of vocalizations in check.

I'm a wolf and a bear, I endure and keep most of my pain inside and don't let it show. But freak! After what I went through, BDSM where some bitch whaps my balls with a riding crop will be boring.

I was supposed to get a prescription pain killer, but I took some ibuprofen that first night and I was fine. The next day I had an appointment with the same urologist who re-opened the wound and repacked it. I'm starting to look askance on folks that claim to get off on having their fun bits tortured.

Then monday I have my primary, the urologist and then back to work. The primary prescribed more metformin for the diabetes and had some blood work done and other lab work. There's a story about that.

After getting back into the waiting room from seeing her, I needed to use the facilities. I hadn't come out of the rest room five minutes when the nurse announced she would need a urine sample from me. A little late but I drank a lot of water and eventually made the techs some lite beer to have fun with.

Later at the urologist I was asked to give another urine sample, which was actually more timely because by that time I really did have to go. The packing from friday is gone and the doctor decides that it's closing so he's not not going to shove more gauze in there. But I does want the area well irrigated.

So here I am taking two showers a day and going through my days as normal as things get with me. Now if I just get a girlfriend to help me gauge how well the other sets of piping down there are working I'll be in business. But I may contact someone to help me work through the obstacles my Asperger's places on my social interaction skills in the near future so that may get resolved.

May the Morrigan help me through these troubled times. Triple goddess of my Celtic ancestors, you have called me and are no doubt placing challeges in my life to overcome and be some sort of hero. Work with me and see me through my trials, as I honor wolf and bear as my main totems, I am your hound. So  throw this dog a bone to play with, please?

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Castles in the Sky

In some ways there is a war going on inside my heart and soul. For the longest time I have identified with wolf as my primary totem and persona. But I find myself gravitating ever more towards bear, grizzly bear specifically.

My dreams have been filling as of late with images of an 8'7" grizzly with red fur, black hair and gray eyes. I have dreams of him in steam punk situations, super hero situations and other forms of science fantasy. How long this will last and for that matter how long I will last remains to be seen as I feel something going on with my heart tonight. McDonald's isn't the greatest nutritional meal in the world but it's cheap and gets the job of assausaging my hunger. Maybe a heart attack will erase the stain that is me from the world and some folks might be happy that a fat furry bastard is dead and never had kids but wanted to.

Valentine's Day came and went and what did I do? Sit at home and type up a story I wrote and posted it FA and Yiffstar. I don't like bars and sitting in one seems rather pointless. Although I may try it at AC in hopes of finding a female fur interested in me. Either that or I need to try and organize a Philly fur meet for my area. Although the fact that I live in the NE and have yet to meet many furs in this area.

Current Location: Philly
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: None

Don't do me no favors airline industry, damn near $200 for taking me from Philly to Pitt and almost $300 to go to New Haven? I may have to take a 7 hour train ride to get to AC on the train via amtrack but I bet the scenery will be nicer. Taking the train will cost me $94 round trip to Pitt and back with the trip to New Haven will cost me $102 round trip. Big difference in price. Which means I have less to worry about in terms of my credit card and so I can plan on getting more at the cons. More commissions, more prints and generally more fun. Heck I could probably bring some soda from home for the weekend if I wanted. Not that I would mind you, but I'd have that option. So I think this year I'm going to take the train to both conventions. Now I need to get a costco card before September...